Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
