the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize