Duck Duck Cougar?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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