I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why is there bacon in the couch?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize