We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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