so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
