moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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