Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
