how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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