So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
