We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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