she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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