I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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