it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
