She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
