sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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