Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
