No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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