just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
