You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize