My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
