Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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