plz talk dirty to me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
