Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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