do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
