I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize