I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
