i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Its about making memories worth repressing
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
