Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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