Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
