YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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