...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
