im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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