I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
