I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
