I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my liver is dry heaving
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