Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize