I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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