Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
