He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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