once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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