I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize