so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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