Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
