you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
