Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
