Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize