She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize