lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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