Don't you send me to vm
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
