so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
