Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
