This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
