Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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