What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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