Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
