I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
well you can't waste a boner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
