Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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