So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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