and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
