Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
