Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize