he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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