i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
